Runway Runaway: A Backstage Pass to Fashion, Romance, Rock 'n Roll by Lorelei Shellist - 2008.

Interview > Lorelei Shellist November 2008

1 - What (or who) inspired you to tell your story and share your experiences?

There was a young man named Mike Ripepi who badgered me for about a year back in 1999 to write a book about Steve Clark. He said the fans all wanted to know why a guy like Steve would do what he did to himself. I didn't want to do it... but he finally wore me down. God rest his soul; Mike is not with us anymore.

2 - Who is the book intended for?

People.
People who read memoirs. People who are interested in learning through other people's life experiences. People who have endured relationships afflicted by the diseases of manic-depression, compulsive behavior disorder, alcoholism and/or substance abuse and don't know where to go for help. People who are helping family members cope with addictions and need support. People who have lost sight of them-selves in relationships. People who would rather read a "live and tell" than a "kiss and tell." People in search of healing. Parents with teenagers who want to be models and want to prepare their teens for whatever challenges may come up. Parents with teenagers who want to be rock stars. People who love music. People who love fashion. People who love life.

3 - How long did it take you to write your book?

I wrote the proposal for a book about Steve around the end of '98. I shopped it in New York to literary agents, who all turned it down. Finally, one very reputable agent told me that he couldn't sell another book about a dead rock star. I shuddered at that. Then he said, "Lorelei, tell me your story. You are the survivor. Tell me how it was for you. Steve is gone - he can't tell it - but you can. Go home and write me your story."

It took me months to be persuaded by Mike and Annamaria, my vocal/life coach, to give myself permission to go there. I kept saying, "Why would anyone want to read a book about me?" Eventually, because of the volunteer work I was doing with at-risk teens and the letters Mike was forwarding me from fans, I thought, 'Well, maybe it is my purpose to share what I learned through my hardships, and write something inspirational at the same time.' I finished the first drafts of it just before the World Trade Center Towers came down on September 11th. At that point there were more important things going on in our country than my story. I put it away and went to work for the Red Cross at ground zero and life took over. In the next 6 years I moved back to California to take care of my aging parents, and earn money. I had spent a lot of money on the book already. After my folks died I decided to go back to school. I dusted off the book as my 2nd year project for USM (see below). I have actively worked on it for 5 years, but I would say the book has been in the works for nearly 10 years!!!

4 - Why are you self-publishing your book?

When I had shopped the book in N.Y. all those years ago the publishers kept saying, "What shelf do we put it on? It has so many things. Is it a rock 'n roll book? Is it a book about fashion? Is it a travelogue? Is it a self-help book?" I said, "It is ALL those things!" I realized I didn’t want to be put on a shelf anyway. Then the internet exploded over these past years and I realized that ever since I ran away at fourteen I had done everything by myself anyway... why should this be any different. I decided to self-publish, and use the magical tools of the internet to connect with the people directly. I always said, "If you want anything done right, you've got to do it yourself!" So, I guess you could say I am a "do-it-yourselfer!"

5 - In your book, you wrote about your relationship with Steve Clark (Def Leppard). What do you want readers to learn about Steve?

That he was a human being. He was real. He was a sweet, funny and straight up guy. He had morals and values and questions about life. He had problems like all of us, and his profession did not dictate his fate - it only sped things up.

6 - Does Steve's family know you wrote about him in your book?

As you will read in the book, I don't have direct contact with the Clarks. The last time I spoke to Steve's mother was when I called to ask her to help Steve when he had gone into his 3rd treatment center. I wrote to their lawyer, and asked him to let them know I mean no harm towards anyone in the writing of my book. My intention is to tell things as they were for me - in my experience. I know that everyone did the best that they could at the time.

7 - Did you go on the road with Def Leppard when you were with Steve?

Yes, but I was with Steve for 4 years before I ever saw him play "live!" They were writing and recording Hysteria. He kept saying, "You've never even seen me play!" I said, "I know, but I love you anyway :)" We had a pact - never go more than 2 weeks without seeing each other. After that, one of us would go to wherever the other one was working and just hold the space and be supportive.

8 - How did Steve propose to you?

Ahhhh, you'll really have to read the book!

9 - Were you still engaged and planning a wedding at the time of Steve's death?

No, sadly that idea was not an option any longer. Things were really out of control at that point in time. Again, it is all in the book.

10 - Is it painful to talk about Steve today and look at his pictures?

Actually, no; not today. I have excellent, loving memories of Steve. I have pictures of him around, and of course the writing of this book has been cathartic, too. I have done so much processing and healing of old memories through song writing, and through the work I have done on myself at USM.

11 - What is USM?

The University of Santa Monica, School of Spiritual Psychology, offers Soul Centered Education by offering an experiential learning format where students learn counseling "hands on" by counseling themselves and others. It's a loving place where people can heal their lives and their souls through issue resolution. A place to learn how to live the authentic life you were born to live by letting go of the past and living in the present. It is fun, creative, and one of a kind. Anyone can go there, you just have to want to heal - yourself and others. I just graduated and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself! Proceeds from Runway RunAway will go towards the scholarship program at USM to help those who want an education like this for themselves and may not be able to afford it.

12 - Was it hard to think back and write about your relationship with Steve?

Everything worthwhile is hard. Challenging is a better word. I have cried wells of tears, and I am haunted by him in my dreams to this day. Still, I always remember Steve's contagious smile, and I just look to the sky and send him a smile back. USM helped me heal a lot of these memories and realize my soul's purpose, so it has gotten easier.

13 - Did the members of Def Leppard contribute to the book (when you were writing about Steve)?

The band were very supportive of my efforts. They all gave me permission to re-print lyrics, use their photos and even their backstage Hysteria pass on the cover! I must admit I wasn't sure how they would take it - but I was pleasantly surprised at how supportive they were. You see, they know they did the best they could, too. We were all so much younger then. If we'd known more about what we were dealing with - well, another reason I wrote the book - so people can be more aware of the signs. There is no one to blame.

14 - Did you continue to listen to Def Leppard after Steve passed away?

Not right away. I think it wasn't until the Adrenalize tour that Phil's then wife, Jackie, took me to a show. She made me go - we were doing a 'Thelma and Louise' road trip and caught the show in Fargo, ND. It was the first time I saw Vivian play Steve's parts. He was so elegant in the way he handled me that night. He told me he was nervous about my being there. But he was so sweet and humble he just won my heart. I was so grateful that it was Vivian who got the gig. It made it easier to bear... even when he plays the solo on Love Bites - he has so much soul I am completely moved. Today I dance and sing a-long just like everybody else.

15 - Do you still keep in touch with members of Def Leppard?

Yep, they're like the brothers I never had.

16 - What can readers expect from your book?

They can expect to get more than they bargained for. There is a lot in it about Steve, but as I said before, it is really a book about my life experiences, and Steve was a big part of my life... as was Don Henley, Karl Lagerfeld, Yves St. Laurent, Valerie, my best friend in those years...but for very different reasons at very different times.

17 - Did you write the entire book yourself?

No project like this is ever pulled off completely alone. Yes, it was me who put my fingers on the keyboard and wrote the story, if that's what you mean. I didn't have any "ghostwriters" on board except, of course, the "spirit guides" who came through me. Like any writer I also had copy editors, feedback from friends, and people who were featured in it help me recall things more clearly.

18 - What was the most difficult challenge you had while writing about your experiences?

Giving myself permission to reveal myself, warts and all, knowing I would be judged.

19 - Did you learn anything from writing your book?

I have learned to accept "what is."

20 - How did you get your big break in modeling?

There were no "big breaks" for me. I made my own breaks and then, after I had been a model for 9 years, Karl Lagerfeld "discovered" me and gave me a contract at Chanel. It's in the book.

21 - What is the best advice anyone has given to you?

That judging is the most damaging thing we can do to ourselves and others; and applying love to all the places that hurt inside is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and others. Forgiveness is a way to be more loving. I also learned that Love is a choice, not a feeling.

22 - What radio interviews can you be heard on?

All my radio spots and book signings are listed on the website - http://www.runwayrunAway.com

23 - What is the Shellist Memorial Scholarship?

This is a music scholarship I started after my parents died. They were both professional musicians, and my father played at the Mesa College in the Wednesday night orchestra until he was nearly 91 years old! Thanks to all of those who have contributed, it is now an Endowment fund! Proceeds from Runway RunAway will go towards sending more kids to music school.

24 - What’s next for you?

Right now I am consumed with being a publisher! Who knew? My hopes and dreams are that the telling of my story will inspire and motivate others to prepare for, and go after, their dreams. I would like to assist people in doing just that from whatever platform presents itself, whether it be speaking engagements, television, counseling, or volunteer work.

25 - Do you have anything you'd like to share with your readers?

I'd like to share my gratitude for all of you who have shown interest in my book. Good or bad it doesn't matter - I hear you and I hope you hear me too. Peace.
Interview shared by Debbi M/Lorelei Shellist.